I'd Still Choose You

A little personal smile...  the kind of smile that someone makes when they are thinking happy thoughts in their head.

When it comes to providing unnecessary items for my family, Christmas is it.  Everyone gets a new pair of jeans, fuzzy socks, a nice-ish outfit, a bucket full of smell goods and (every couple of years) some type of electronics.  The biggest barrier to me providing everyone with what they want, is that I am not willing to pay full price for anything.  If it isn't on almost last mark-down clearance, it isn't coming home with me.

As the girls have gotten older, I have learned that they loath my fashion choices.  I either select something that is awful or I pick the wrong thing for the wrong kid.  Luckily, they have learned to huddle after presents are opened and swap until everyone is satisfied.  However, I have managed to do some gifting that they actually appreciate.

I buy my kids silver jewelry.  For the most practical of reasons, one of my kids is allergic to nickel, I have to get them gold or silver.  After several years of waiting for gold earrings to go on sale and them losing only one earring of a set, I gave up and switched to silver.  The past few years, I have come across these little gift boxes with inspirational messages.  

In the past few years, I have scored earrings, finger rings, necklaces and bracelets.  I have been able to purchase studs in multiple diameters, filigree jewelry and more.  But the jewelry in the boxes (which I usually get for 60 - 70% off) has made them smile.

The smile is never a beam.  Instead, it is a little personal smile...  the kind of smile that someone makes when they are thinking happy thoughts in their head.  I usually get a quick kiss and a hug and then they pack up all of their loot and go to their rooms.  Every now and again, in passing, they mention that they liked the jewelry "so much."

Since they rarely actually wear jewelry, I sometimes forget what I purchased.  That is, until someone comes screaming at me that they can't find their favorite necklace.  Then we go on the hunt through pockets, backpacks, and crevices until we locate the missing item.

Two items that went missing most recently included a tree adorned necklace and a ring.  When we recovered the necklace, I was surprised that it was still intact.  It was very cute but not very substantial.  The ring was crooked (because I stepped on it -- bygones) and a size too big.  Yet when we found both, my girls beamed.

There was a bit more story behind the ring.  Did I mention that I stress out and try to get the girls the exact same number of presents?  Though I don't remember, my youngest daughter reminded me that I had bought each of them the same ring but in a different size.  I asked if she was sure and she replied that she couldn't forget because the box had a special message inside.

If you were a flower, I'd still choose you...  that was the message in the box.  She smiled when she said it and it made my heart happy.  The thing was, I didn't remember the phrase.  I do, however, remember taking over an hour going through all of the boxes on this one clearance jewelry stand (probably on Christmas Eve).  I recalled choosing the same box three times (rather than jewelry) because it had a message that touched my heart.

My daughter asked me what that message meant.   Despite my sparse memory of the occasion, I did understand the message.  I told her that I choose to love you no matter how hangry you are, no matter how many bad choices you make, no matter what life brings our way...  I would choose you to be my baby, my heart, my soul.  

All together, my kids can attest that I am an emotional hot mess.  I don't cry often.  I fuss a lot. Sharing utensils grosses me out.  I think that holding hands causes cooties and tight hugs are sketchy.  However, when it comes to them, I try my best to let them know that I love and care about them.  And if I had to do it all again, I'd still get through hell or high water to make sure that they would be mine.