#MeanPeopleSuck

That's right.  I said it.  Mean people suck.  I work in the world of Do-Gooders and Self-Sacrificers.  In my world, everyone is supposed to be kind-hearted, empathetic and motivational.  For the most part, my work peers are this way.  However, every now and then I meet a vicious wolf dressed in Do-Gooder's clothing.

I don't think it is too much to ask that people work on being polite, cordial and pleasant.  Don't get me wrong, on most days I am a crabby patty.  But when someone walks into my world and acknowledges that they need help, an about-face is in order.  In almost every possible scenario, a pleasant face beats out a mean mug.

Seriously, nobody likes mean people.  The rest of the world puts up with them simply because they too are one of God's creatures.  Aside from that, we resist the urge to shove them lightly thereby facilitating a face plant into a mud puddle.  They push you to be out of character and to respond just like them.  If you are not careful, they can guide you to the dark side--the one comprised of nasty attitudes and negative words.

I have no advice for dealing with mean people.  My only defense is to smile, say okay, and walk away.   This is solely for my benefit.  It doesn't serve any purpose beyond preventing me from making an angry spectacle of myself. The adage "kill em with kindness" just doesn't work so well with them. They appreciate your kindness and even try to reciprocate.  However, even that is usually still just mean.

As an example, I recently dealt with a really mean person.  Every bit of body language and verbiage that emanated from them made me tense up.   I tried to respond flatly, to keep my emotions at-bay.  However, they kept spewing mean word vomit like pleasantries.  In my head, I am like how much flatter does my response and facial expression need to be before this tortuous exchange ends.  It just kept going and going and going.  And when it was near the end, I heard "I'll be praying for them."  Seriously!!! Why would you offer up prayers?  Is there a special prayer repository just for mean people?  To whom are you even praying?  Are you even sincere?

If there is any lesson to be learned here, it is that...  Nope I got nothing.  To me, the lesson is that "fake it 'til you make it" should be in all mean peoples' tool kits. Let's be clear, I suggest starting simply and faking be kind of nice.  I'm not expecting miracles here.  I would just be happy if my compulsion to run the other way was thwarted with a bit of niceness.  

Perhaps they should learn the art of small talk.  There are books and videos and coaches who can help with that.  Mean people could practice introducing themselves.  They could practice engaging in neutral mode versus attack mode. They could even practice using words that sound positive to the untrained ear.  

I do fully understand that some people do not see themselves as mean. Perhaps they think that they are honest, straight forward and, somehow, helpful.  To me, they see the world a little differently than the rest of us. Maybe they are on the defensive.  Maybe they are protecting some person, ideal, or lifestyle that is precious to them.  But why do they have to be so damn nasty in the process? 

As a #reformedmeanperson (remember the crabby patty comment from earlier), I do believe that there is hope.  I practice smiling and saying stuff like "hello, how are you" as I keep walking.  I also use "please" and "thank you" often as a sign of my appreciation and recognition that I can be hard to deal with most days.  I even hold the door for the person approaching behind me (have you ever had someone just pull the door shut on you--feels like a slap in the face).  And my favorite piece of advice, if someone really pushes your mean button, just smile and say okay (I repeat...  just smile and say okay).